Visas are like trying to fill your pants with Jelly, feels great when done correctly

Well the organisation is up to its usual hideously poor level. I have been given the task of trying to get my trip organised from the deepest darkest corner of Africa. As you can imagine that is pretty difficult, I was told to try and get my visa application started, but how the hell can I do that whilst 5000 miles from any civilisation. It was a pretty silly comment to make to me, I was able to ask my wife to enquire about visa and vaccinations and blood tests and she has managed to get all the relevant information for me, which I presume is pretty standard but for some reason the office thinks it is impossible to get it done outside of the European capitols. A pretty condescending attitude to have, Costa Rica has a very efficient embassy system as it caters for all of South America. I have to have so many blood tests and have all this information on an international vaccination certificate, I have never seen one of these before but I will have to get one even if I have to bribe a doctor to get one for me, the customer will ban me from site if I don’t get one, so at least the mild corruption is good for getting things like that done in Costa Rica.
I am getting very excited about leaving this place and getting of those goddam night shifts, I am still suffering like a insomniac madman, I was falling asleep last night while waiting for my wife to get back from the gym to ring her but I couldn’t last and I took a valium to get to a long nights sleep but at midnight I was awake to got to the toilet for a pee as usual and I started waking up so I took another valium and I was whacked out until my room mate woke me up miserable bastard, at 4.30 and at 4.45 I got out of bed and started doing mail and checking the news, I have become an early riser, I cannot remember that last time I got up late other than when I was sleeping like a lord in Florence just before I got here, so it is possible to sleep normally given the right circumstances. So I am going to be leaving here hopefully next Wednesday if my replacement gets his visa organised and then I can get back to the holiday country of Costa Rica and get my arms filled with needles and start driving about like a nutcase and also try and be a father and husband for a short time without being too miserable with all the jetlag and lack of sleep I had on the journey home, but other than that I am getting pretty excited about flying into the jungle and living on the river, I hope there I wildlife all over the place as I am going to be like a child in a sweetie shop, there isn’t any perimeter fencing as it is so remote and you have ocelots and things wandering about the camp in the early mornings so I maybe an early waker to get the early morning bird song chorus. I think it is going to be a much more relaxing place to work, I will be sleeping like a baby, taking long walks around the site as if it were a eco holiday, lets hope I can get the internet as I will feel like my arms will have been chopped off at the elbow. We’ll see if the visa application is exactly as simple as told to my wife.