Oh For The Joys of Life in a Normal World

What is it that makes a normal world to live ones life in so appealing? I am missing something very important in life, but I don’t really know what it is. I read other Blogs about the things they do and see and feel and I seem to be in an alien world that doesn’t connect to anything they are doing. I work a lot, I seem to live at work which is actually true, my bed is 60 feet from my office and the restaurant is 100 feet the other direction and I can here the machines I operate whining away at night, so basically I am not ever away from work. I don’t have many hobbies to do and I cannot strike up much of a relationship with any of the guys as their rotation is only 14 days so they come and go and I work alone in my office trying to make the days go quicker but surfing and doing stupid things to kill the time. I can exist like this a latter day sistine monk, humble and peaceful, going about my daily chores, rescuing butterflies and bugs and looking for new wildlife around me. I try and keep fit but it all seems like I am living in life like an experimental animal. I feel like I am in an observation room with the almighty being watching me going about my work. He throws problems at me to see how I react and then jots it down in his notepad. How can I have ended up pondering the little mysteries of life so much when I am supposedly a very important person on this job site? I could be suffering the beginnings of a minor depression and I think I need to do something about it. If you read lately that I was feeling like I was in prison, I think that is the first signs of it and I have been hammering on and on to my boss to get me out of this place anything would be better than this I think. I don’t know if I would end up in the desert somewhere or in the nasty jungle of Africa, but I am desperate to get a posting with other guys who I can have a joke with and share my thoughts and fears. Perhaps my company is going to get me a posting where I can take my wife and I can live life like a normal person and have a pet cat and some goldfish, I can get home after a long day and play with the cat and watch the cartoons with the little girl and then have a meal with the wife and a bottle of wine. Watch old movies together, go walking out at night together, who knows, you just do things on the spur of the moment, here, the only thing you do is look out for the big black clouds that can drown you in 60 seconds with rain drops that are 2 inches diameter, this rain has to be different as the surface tension can’t normally make drops that big, or the clouds hold that much rain. When Buddha created the jungle here in south America, he was in a funny mood smoking a huge bob Marley special, he thought he would create giant bugs and millions of snakes, (not that I have seen any yet) and all sorts of strange and amazing creatures and unbelievable rain and monstrous rivers, and short people. What would the UK have looked like if he had been smoking wacky backy at the same time? Would there be fjords in Norway and would Hawaii have had more crazy animals like Madagascar. Wish I had met Buddha, I bet he was a cool guy, great for going out on the town for a few beers and a boogie on down in the local nightclub ecstacising and speeding all night long. Oh Buddha make my life seem normal and give me the patience to suffer all the silly things and time seem like it isn’t wasted.
I had my birthday just before I came back out to Peru and I realised that my life is slipping away, 1 more year closer to the box in the ground and there isn’t anything going on afterwards. This is a one show ticket and I am in a jungle without entertainment and beer and my wife. This has to change and very soon or I will just become a ship jumper and go and spend the rest of my life on the beach in Thailand.