Hawaiian Hula Hula Holiday

Happy Hawaii, what a fantastic place to go for a vacation of a lifetime, only thing is that I have done these sort of places before and I cannot get to excited about it, life as an old fart is tiresome, getting there was a complete pain in the ass, I had to get to the airport really early in Costa Rica and do a silly flight the wrong way to Miami as that is American Airways immigration centre, when we were waiting at the airport I saw the most bizarre activity by a waiting passenger for the flight, probably the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen in an airport, a guy was actually doing the salsa alone up and down the aisles, spinning around and flashing his legs out like a pro Latin-American dancer. He looked really stupid, I think he had used the last of his cocaine in the taxi to the airport. So we landed in Miami did the standing in line thing and then got on our flight to Los Angeles. We were late taking off and we had to buy a goddam sandwich on the plane as food now costs, cheap-ass bankrupt airlines. Anyway we were on a tight schedule and when we landed there was another delay on the taxiway and when we got to the lounge we were the last ones on the plane, I was worried about the luggage. We didn’t even have time to go and buy a Big Mac for the flight , we again had to buy a goddam chicken wrap on the third flight of the day, we were having a low-cal day.
We arrived in Maui to be met by our friend unexpectedly, he never said he was picking us up. He gave us a lei, the typical flower garland and even though we were worn out from the flights, we spent the next 5 hours chatting and laughing and loving the warm climate and lovely fresh air of a Hawaiian evening. Our bedroom was the porch with fly-screens and overlooking the golf course.

Now everything you have read and seen about Hawaii is pretty misleading, other than the fact it is sunny and warm all year round and the sea is warm and full of sharks and turtles.

Maui is an island of 2 volcanoes with a large valley




The islands have tons of rain, Maui has No1 & 2 wettest spots in the world so they say, 40 feet of rain a year at the top of the large volcanic remnants, but the winds only drop it on the windward side, so that side is lush and verdant and the other is dry and desert like, this to me was very strange, but tropical islands are interesting strange places anyway

Crazy Volcanic ash cones all over the place



at least being part of the USA I was able to go shopping at Walmart and I prepared for the event of the holiday, buying shoes and clothes in Walmart as I brought 2 extra holdalls in the suitcases. I got a lot of socks, and some bits and pieces and rechargeable batteries as the ones we got in the UK had basically expired after 3 charges, cheap-ass French batteries, don’t buy uniross batteries.

Our holiday was fantastic, we got a free stay at our friends house, they were the perfect hosts, Eugenia was attempting to make me as fat as the local Hawaiians and was cooking great meals, they also lent us there third car so we didn’t have to hire one, saving possibly $1000, and we drove around the entire island,

Rainy West Maui, large volcano



it was fantastic, a very beautiful part of the world, only problem is that it is terrifically popular with lots of Americans also and this is making it a boom town for developers and they are building everywhere, nothing is sacred.

We went snorkelling and saw a couple of Turtles and no sharks, when we went to the Molokini Island, a small caldera in the bay, it was like Piccadilly circus, there was 8 boats and perhaps 500 snorkellers, we just frightened away all the fish I think, the week before we went though a swimmer had been bitten by a shark just 30 feet out into the water.

Fantastic snorkelling in the warm waters




One huge problem with the islands is that it is inundated with non native species of animals and birds, it is the extinction capitol of the USA, over half the species of birds are gone for good and wild cats are breeding like crazy, goats eat all the plants and wild pigs are also a major threat, luckily there are no snakes yet, to wipe out the rest of the birds but the birds you do see are all introduced by the British and lately by immigrants from the mainland, Mynah birds from India are everywhere, as are the pigeons, millions of these beautiful little doves, and cardinals and turkeys and crazy Chukkars that run about on the roads, not flying out of the way of traffic and the most crazy thing of all was the incredible number of Ford Mustangs being hired out, there must be millions of them also, the favourite of the US tourists, the drive across the top of the island was fantastic, like a drive through the hills of my home country, all very twisty and turny, so all the city dwellers from the US couldn’t handle the turns, “what do you mean I have to turn the wheel of my car”. Not a straight line in 50 miles, they were driving at 10 mph, now that is far too slow in anyone’s book, I know the speed limit was 10 mph but that is to save these drivers who are used to straight roads from crashing off the cliffs into the sea, I was powering away in my Subaru overtaking everyone, over the no overtaking lines, what a great drive it was.

Great Tropical Beaches on all coasts




The last earthquake there had broken a bridge to some nice waterfalls and we couldn’t go to see them and it was very dry while we were there, only 2 hours of rain in the whole 2 weeks. So the creeks were dry and hence no waterfalls. We will definitely go again sometime and travel to the other islands to see some of the other crazy things like the tallest sea cliffs in the world, the ones used for Jurassic park. Maybe some other snorkelling, we did see the sharks in the giant aquarium, that was a good place to see the fish, nice and safely.



Flight home was pretty uneventful other than a major snowstorm hacked across the USA and cancelled lots of flights in Dallas , but as we were going to the warm sunny Costa Rica we didn’t get held up and we bought a big mac for the flight home and guess what, they supplied us with a free hot meal, so we had to eat both on the flight, it’s a hard life.