Sunday, April 18, 2010

Thinking of Retiring to a Foreign Country??, Disaster Awaits You

I am constantly amazed by the crazy ideas old farts have about retiring abroad to a country where they cannot speak the language and think it is like living back home. It is a running joke here in Spain about all the silly old farts who sell their houses back in the UK and retire to a lovely little place in Spain or France or any other crazy place that they think will be great to retire. It is a recipe for disaster, I am here with my Spanish speaking wife and life here is hard work. The weather is shite most of the year and the houses are designed for Spanish peasants so they are primitive and cold in winter and hot in summer. So when some of these old farts come on holiday year after year to the same country and they fall in love with the lovely warm sunny summer weather they think that living here is the same as coming on holiday, it makes me wonder if they think it is warm and sunny all year round. It isn´t, this year was the wettest for 60 years and some houses have been lost to giant landslides, where there was once a little creek there have been raging river bursting through gardens, and when the town hall find out about the house, it appears that it never had planning permission and then they fine you 50,000 Euros for having an illegal build.

The legal system here is totally alien to anything you can imagine, it was created by lawyers who were wanting to steal as much money as they could from anyone. They are all crooks and I have been a victim of this also. So if you buy a place it could be an illegal build, but the lawyers have hidden this from you, the fines are enormous and now the Spanish government are planning to demolish 10´s of thousands of these illegal builds. So you could be facing a total loss.

Te other thing is living here is not the same as holidaying here, shopping and living and dealing with normal everyday things medical things. As an example there is an old couple who sold there UK house and moved to spain after buying a house 10 years ago. The house is tiny and maybe 10 feet wide and is almost a 1 up and 1 down, their idea was to save money and just enjoy the outdoor life. This winter has made everyone stay inside for 6 months, so all the brits are going insane, the houses are cold and damp and tiny, these folks lived 70 Km from the coast and away from the town centre, again the isolation has been driving them insane. She has also had the need for medical attention and this is the biggest difference here, the system is geared about the family taking care of the patient. So being here alone is a disaster, these people have been here since last Autumn and are looking like they are destined to return within the year, but the running joke is that all the old farts return within a couple of years.

My recommendations for anyone thinking of moving abroad is don´t, if your thinking of doing it to save money, you will not. If you think that being on holiday for 12 months a year is good then you will get bored. Life is not a giant holiday and missing your friends and family will be far worse. I recommend that you just rent a place for 3 months at a time and still keep your house in the home country. maybe rent a place for the entire year to get a good rate and share it with other people, so when you get tired you just quit and stay in your house in the UK. The other thing right now may be a temporary thing is that the exchange rate has gone the wrong way by 30% and if your on a fixed income then that is a 30% cut in your income. so many brits right now are leaving spain and cutting their losses and just going back to the mother country. I can speak about this from experience from traveling and living all round the world and having a base to live from is critical it gives you a feeling of security but packing up and leaving for good shakes you to your roots.

Monday, April 12, 2010

What would it Be Like In Pandora

I have watched the movie in spanish and English and several times at home, it is the best movie I have seen in a long time, it fills my heart with nice awe inspiring thoughts, like what would it be like to live with such frightening creatures running about and having luminous and mobile plants all over, trees taller than apartment blocks. Just makes me shiver all over. There were some reports that some people were leaving cinemas all depressed as planet earth is so crap and Pandora was so nice. Yes i was almost in that category, the planet earth is crap and full of morons who need to die but not quite depressed about it all. But i thought i would give you an idea of what i may look like when on the planet Pandora. No wonder the guy wanted to stay there having sex with a big blue pussy cat. Anyway life back on earth is more mundane, I have been checking out where I am going to be working next, it seems all the work is in Australia, sounds good to me apart it is on a small island in the Timor Sea, but it could be worse, i could going to Saudi.

This is one handsome looking Alien


Wednesday, April 07, 2010

10 Important Life Thoughts

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ... Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you £200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you £30.00? Pounds or dollars - the currency doesn't matter ...

Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2010:
"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers - what you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow"