Back In the Land of Warmth and Civilisation

I am home in the land of sunshine and warmth and easy beer drinking and nice food eating, I had a totally uneventful trip home apart from the catastrophic error of me landing in one New York Airport and leaving via another airport, this must have been overlooked as it is an hours drive between JFK and Newark Liberty International. I was worried about the time i was going to spend getting through Immigration and collecting my baggage and then crossing the city to get to my departure airport, in the end I made it easy and had 3 hours to spare. I couldn't sleep on any plane other than a sneaky 1 hour on my final flight but by this time i was so jetlagged i wasn't feeling normal. My wife and little girl were waiting at the airport for me and i tried to be happy but i felt like a laboratory rabbit that had been exposed to lots of strange drugs, I had flet all hot and sweaty on the plane but put it down to poor A/C, but as my wife drove me home i knew i was going to vomit, i had to get her to stop and let me throw up, i had suspected that the plane food wasn't good, i am getting almost sensetised to poor quality airplane food, i think i am going to have to go Vegetarian on planes. I slumped into bed but was awake at 3am feeling like crap, the whole following day i was in Zombie land, i couldn't function, nothing seemed real to me, I am getting to the point of never wanting to fly again, I wernt to bed that night and took a full Valium to knock me out for 8 hours, it worked great and i got up at 5.30 after 8 hours solid undisturbed peace, I am feeling normal and like i can move house as today we start the house moving process, this couldn't have come at a worse time, jetlagged and moving house, anyway, this is the start of me and the family moving to Australia, I haven't had any definite details other than my boss telling me that i am going mid march, Life has a way of kicking you in the balls just when your getting excited but we will see how this plan turns out

Those Cheesey love Songs For Valentines

The World's Cheesiest Love Song Playlist, Belive me , I have them all, what a soppy
girly man I am, try playing one or two to your girlfriend for Valentines, with a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine, It will do wonders for you

You're The Inspiration - Chicago

The One That You Love - Air Supply

Suddenly - Billy Ocean

Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler

Hello - Lionel Richie

(Everything I Do) I Do It For You - Bryan Adams

Separate Lives - Phil Collins

Hold On To The Nights - Richard Marx

Tonight, I Celebrate My Love - Peabo Bryson

At This Moment - Billy Vera

Always - Atlantic Starr

Islands In The Stream - Dolly Parton

I Honestly Love You - Olivia Newton-John

Almost Paradise - Ann Wilson & Mike Reno

I Want To Know What Love Is – Foreigner

How Am I Supposed To Live Without You - Michael Bolton

Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison

Feels Like Heaven - Peter Cetera

I Go Crazy - Paul Davis

I Swear - All-4-One

Everytime You Go Away - Paul Young

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now - Starship

The Lady In Red - Chris De Burgh

Always And Forever - Heatwave

I'll Always Love You - Taylor Dayne

The Power Of Love - Celine Dion

I Need Love - LL Cool J

All Cried Out - Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam

Arthur's Theme - Christopher Cross

Lovin' You - Minnie Riperton

Could It Be Magic - Barry Manilow

All My Life - K-Ci & JoJo

Faithfully - Journey

Things Not To Get For Your Valentine Sweetheart

Valentine's Day is almost upon us so remember not to be stupid and save yourself some pain and grief

For Him:

1. Avoid soaps, lotions, potions, anything that smells like candy. Unless it's actually candy.

2. Flowers. He just doesn't understand why you would buy him something that he has to a) nurture and b) nurture. If you simply must, a cactus might pass--but remember, he wants a gift that can take care of itself.

3. Unfun tools. Yeah, he gets it. You want him to shovel the snow. Do not buy him a shovel to drive the point home. (Large noisemaking power tools excluded.)

4. Dinner. It's a blatant cop-out. Saving him the 80 bucks does not a romantic gesture make. A gift should come in a box. (Unless it is a kitty or a pup, which are other things you should not get him. See rule #2).

5. An electric razor. If he wanted one, he would have bought it for himself (and of all the gadgets, this is not likely one he's coveting). Ask yourself: Do you want him to buy you a razor?

6. Boxer shorts. To men, they're truly utilitarian. No frills. No styles. (Same goes for socks.)

7. A tie. Dude, he's not your dad. So unless you plan to tie him up with it and give him his real present, ditch the old standard.

For Her:

1. Anything that even remotely implies that she is not physically perfect: gym memberships, Botox, diet plan subscriptions, self help books and the like.

2. A bathing suit. Unless it comes with a trip to the Bahamas, she does not want your input on this personal matter. What's more, you're likely to give her an anxiety attack when she thinks about trying it on (especially after the great binge/food fest with the in-laws that were the Holidays 2007).

3. Toys. Women usually do not want video games. We might occasionally like to kick your butt in Wii, but that does not mean we want Street Fighter II (or whatever game it is you're playing). Also, your avatar is lame.

4. Homemade coupons. Whether they're for dish duty, garbage duty, dinner, or something else, she's not likely to be impressed. Did your high school girlfriend even use hers?

5. A gift certificate. Step it up with something a little more personal--unless it's for 300 dollars and you can't wait to take her to the store and shop. All day.

6. Food. Unless you're the Iron Chef or Francois Payard, skip anything home-baked. When her friends ask what you got her for V-day, she does not want to have to regurgitate. Literally.

7. A magazine subscription. Bo-ring.

8. Tickets to the "big game." Hate to break it to you, but when she said she loved football, she was lying. Save the sports stuff for your buddies.

9. A DVD box set of your favorite show. You've both already seen every episode. It will just accumulate dust with the rest of the collection.

10. Same goes for CDs. Hello, iTunes.

11. Appliances. Every man has made this guffaw. Just because she says, "I need a new vacuum" does not mean you should buy her a vacuum.

12. Any gift you once bought for an ex-girlfriend. She will find out--and punish you.

Does that sound like a Happy Valentine's Day to you?

World Record Low Humidy Here Yesterday

Yesterday we recorded a world lowest Humidity, it was incredible that we went below zero humidy in fact it was -35%, I didn't think it was possible, when you spit the water content would immediately vapourise leaving only a little white powder to float in the air, you could feel the skin drying constantly on your lips and eyes and even the hands and face were just dessicating, i have had to start using hand cream for the first time ever and i am constantly using chap stick for my lips, the horizon is just crisp with such an incredibly low humidity, you can see mountains here that are in Algeria which is not very far away and you can make out all the details of the contours and valleys, you can see way into the horizon other mountains that could be 50 miles away, also quite clear, beyond that you can make out others but are just a purple outline, this is winter time and i am wondering how low the humidity will get during the summer time, maybe -100%, a quite staggering low if you can accept that.

I am just 6 days from getting home and have only 5 more working days, i think i have been hallucinating constantly these last two weeks, trying not to get too excited about leaving this desert, but as my manager has been telling me that i am finally going to Australia then i am not too unhappy to be here, I have to accept that you have to suffer before your allowed to enjoy real working environments