Bienvenidos a Trabuco, Espania

Hola all you land lubbers, well i have been here in Villanueva Del Trabuco for 3 days now and it is friggin fresh, the days are gloriously sunny but the nights are frosty and a house without heating is miserable, I am reduced to wearing my fleece all day long inside and as I new what was in store for me i bought a quilt for the bed at the large hypermarket in Malaga before i drove to the town. I bought a ton of groceries and all the things needed for life so I was happy about the situation, but it is friggin cold at night, it takes me back to the days living at my parents house where we had the frost on the inside of the glass in my bedroom. So first things first, I have ordered a heating system that is very interesting, it is a Air Conditioning system that incorporates a heat pump and this will pull heat from the atmosphere even on a cold night and transports it into the house, these are not cheap but it requires little in the way of fitting, just a power cable and then two pipes to take the refrigerant into a blower, I have also ordered a much larger water heater that will allow a shower with more than the trickle, I am getting the plumber to get a decent shower fitting and large curved shower rail so we can get a curtain to allow standing showers rather than squatting showers,

The sun is fantastic




The Road at the back of my House




The Town without my mugshot





The town has just undergone a major facelift with the square being pedestrianised and all new granite paving, it is much better for the traffic, I will bring more pics tomorrow,

Latest Movie Review

Once again I have been watching some of the biggest movies of the month, mostly the Oscar award nominations. I sometimes think I am not catching what these movies are all about, crap is the phrase that springs to mind some of the time if not all of the time. here we go.

1) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, 6/10, entertaining but a strange plot, why these people deliberately avoided each other to not be happy I cannot say.

2) Revolution Road, 1/10, miserable and totally depressing, why anyone would want to watch the breakdown of someone else's marriage I am not sure but the sad end is just enough to make me slap the director with a wet fish.

3) Mall Cop, 7/10, very silly and aimed at 9 year olds. Just a silly and totally unbelievable plot, but just kept me watching until the end, I did laugh sometimes, Ok for kids.



4) Gran Torino, 5/10, just not that believable and pretty silly, again it had pretty miserable undertones and then degenerated into planned suicide, just not uplifting and depressing. Even the might of Clint Eastwood wasn't enough to drag this one into the oscar award.

5) Changling, 4/10, just so goddam depressing and I hope this sort of thing never really happened, how did the authorities ever think the child they handed back to a mother wouldn't notice that the child wasn't hers. I was pulling out my hair with frustration at watching shite movies.

6) The Pink Panther 2, 0/10, this was so awful that as a joint decision we turned off the movie after only 15 minutes and I was happy to watch some TV. how anyone could watch this drivel and say they didn't feel cheated after paying to enter the cinema I would never know.

7) How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, 8/10, I found this very watchable and amusing, it came out in 2008 but i missed it and got the DVD and I am glad I did and would recommend this over all the rubbish I have previewed.

8) Australia, 7/10 this was a nice interesting movie but the plot was a little bit too thin to get you really gripped, and Nicole Kidman just overacted the whole movie, great cinematography and some silly stunt work but overall a watchable movie.

Slumdog Millionaire, ????, I have to watch this, but I am not holding me breath

Off to spain tomorrow, woohoooo, got to be warmer than this.

Old Scottish Proverb

The Devil's boots don't creak

Mensa Funny Words

Mensa Invitational

Here are the winners of this year's Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidental ly walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj.. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n.. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Flying to Spain From a Frosty UK

I arrived in the UK about 10 days ago, this has been the worse winter in 20-30 years, it has been shockingly cold and constant snow on the ground since i got here. It is horrible, this is the reason why I will never live back in the UK ever again, I am enjoying my time here in my sisters house, but it is mostly spent sitting indoors watching the birds in the snow. All i do is plan my future events in Spain. I am flying out on the 21st and trying to organise the new heating system remotely as I cannot bear to think about moving into the house in winter, it would be like an icebox. I am also looking at the telephone internet options for my little town, Villanueva Del Trabuco, it appears that as it is such a small town, you can only have the giant ex-government monoploy. I dont mind as long as i dont have to pay a huge amount. I still have the ugly old Sat Box for the system I bought 8 years ago and I have tried the system and it still works, I needed the latest decryption card with it but as a fluke my sister had a spare one as she also has the similar sky system, as sky is the worlds largest and probably only satellite TV system it is easy to see why.

This house project is going to take probably close to a year in total and I have to be watching most of it to make sure they do what i want, trying to organise work around it is very difficult and I will see how it goes, the problem other than not making money is losing contacts with the employers and being able to get work after it all, I may try and squeeze in some small projects in between. We will see how that accept it and how i can cope without work, at least the summer in spain will be nice.

this is the town square




The other part of the town square